Sephiroth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
imjustaman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fhlogs2025-05-26 10:17 pm
imjustaman) wrote in fhlogs2025-05-26 10:17 pm
Entry tags:
What I've Done | Sephiroth, OTA
Who: Sephiroth and everyone
What: How it all started
Where: Outside of Edge
When: The beginning
Warnings: Sephiroth's grief, guilt, and self-hatred
It Begins
It really should have been so simple.
All he wanted was to be sane again.
That part of him had been stirring more and more the longer time went on. He wanted out of this nightmare he and Jenova had created. He wanted to be himself again, to be whole again.
He wanted ...
He hoped ...
Maybe ...
Cloud would care about him if he were sane again.
He saw now what a foolish, vain hope that was.
Cloud would never care about him again.
No one would ever care about him again.
How could they?
He didn’t deserve it.
He hadn’t realized ... hadn’t taken into consideration ... how devastating it would be when his sanity came back ... and the full weight of everything he had done crashed down on him.
He sank to his knees, gripping at his heart. It was physically hurting. He was alive from his bond with Cloud.... He was sane from longing for Cloud to care about him.... And now he would forever be in the throes of despair because of his selfish, idiotic longings.
Nibelheim ... Aerith ... Meteor.... So many other atrocities.... So many people hurt ... dead ... all because of him. Things he would have to live with forever. Things he could never fix.
And then ... when he went outside his home in the meadows near Edge ... when he saw what else was happening because of his foolish, vain hopes ...
The space-time continuum torn open.... People and places suddenly, forcibly coming through to Gaia.... The portals closing up after them.... So many now stranded here, far away from their homes....
“What have I done?” he cried in horror. “What have I done?”
Even in restoring himself to sanity, he couldn’t be the only one to suffer. Now the people of countless worlds would all be miserable as well.
He wandered through the area, talking to people, trying to find out where they were from, trying to figure out what to do, how to calm them, how to fix this.... He didn’t know what had happened to the Orb. It had healed his mind ... severed his connection with Jenova ... and then had flown up into the cosmos, where it had caused these massive explosions in space-time.
Jenova ...
That was something else he had to deal with now. Seeing things clearly for the first time, he understood that she had never cared about him. That she wasn’t his mother. And that what he had learned long ago in the Lifestream about a woman named Lucrecia and had rejected was actually the truth.
It was too much. It was all too much. His life was already spiraling out of control again.
But he couldn’t lose his mind again.
He had to stay sane this time.
He had to fix this.
And after he managed to do that, no matter how long it took?
He didn’t know.
He was alive, but there wasn't any life left for him. He had destroyed anything he could have had when he had lost his mind. He could never have any of it back.
He was and would forever be alone.
He would never deserve anything else.
((OOC: Sephiroth can be encountered anywhere in the nearby area outside of Edge (the wastelands, the meadows) or possibly in Edge.))
What: How it all started
Where: Outside of Edge
When: The beginning
Warnings: Sephiroth's grief, guilt, and self-hatred
It Begins
It really should have been so simple.
All he wanted was to be sane again.
That part of him had been stirring more and more the longer time went on. He wanted out of this nightmare he and Jenova had created. He wanted to be himself again, to be whole again.
He wanted ...
He hoped ...
Maybe ...
Cloud would care about him if he were sane again.
He saw now what a foolish, vain hope that was.
Cloud would never care about him again.
No one would ever care about him again.
How could they?
He didn’t deserve it.
He hadn’t realized ... hadn’t taken into consideration ... how devastating it would be when his sanity came back ... and the full weight of everything he had done crashed down on him.
He sank to his knees, gripping at his heart. It was physically hurting. He was alive from his bond with Cloud.... He was sane from longing for Cloud to care about him.... And now he would forever be in the throes of despair because of his selfish, idiotic longings.
Nibelheim ... Aerith ... Meteor.... So many other atrocities.... So many people hurt ... dead ... all because of him. Things he would have to live with forever. Things he could never fix.
And then ... when he went outside his home in the meadows near Edge ... when he saw what else was happening because of his foolish, vain hopes ...
The space-time continuum torn open.... People and places suddenly, forcibly coming through to Gaia.... The portals closing up after them.... So many now stranded here, far away from their homes....
“What have I done?” he cried in horror. “What have I done?”
Even in restoring himself to sanity, he couldn’t be the only one to suffer. Now the people of countless worlds would all be miserable as well.
He wandered through the area, talking to people, trying to find out where they were from, trying to figure out what to do, how to calm them, how to fix this.... He didn’t know what had happened to the Orb. It had healed his mind ... severed his connection with Jenova ... and then had flown up into the cosmos, where it had caused these massive explosions in space-time.
Jenova ...
That was something else he had to deal with now. Seeing things clearly for the first time, he understood that she had never cared about him. That she wasn’t his mother. And that what he had learned long ago in the Lifestream about a woman named Lucrecia and had rejected was actually the truth.
It was too much. It was all too much. His life was already spiraling out of control again.
But he couldn’t lose his mind again.
He had to stay sane this time.
He had to fix this.
And after he managed to do that, no matter how long it took?
He didn’t know.
He was alive, but there wasn't any life left for him. He had destroyed anything he could have had when he had lost his mind. He could never have any of it back.
He was and would forever be alone.
He would never deserve anything else.
((OOC: Sephiroth can be encountered anywhere in the nearby area outside of Edge (the wastelands, the meadows) or possibly in Edge.))